He almost jumped. This was the first piece of solid evidence she had given him. But why now? And why had she inexplicably ended up with Liam when he was away? More text appeared.
i don’t why,
but i thought you were going to tell me that night.
Pause.
so i got liam instead,
because i was afraid you’d ask me for an answer,
and i wasn’t ready to tell you yet.
Oh. His heart sank. Well, he knew the answer now.
oh…
He was about to say something, but forgot what it was. More text appeared.
you all right over there?
No, not really. But he wasn’t going to spoil it for her either. She was happy; he’d sort himself out later. He tried to put a brave face on it.
yea, i'm ok
i'd feel better if i had a Porsche
but yea, otherwise i'm good
Shit, he thought. He had brushed her off. Shit! The screen didn’t change for a while, then showed that Anne was typing. Oh God, he thought.
you know, nathan,
More typing.
you like to face your problems alone,
and i respect you for it.
Pause.
but you don’t always have to be the outsider.
i want you to know you can talk to me about it.
Oh God, he thought again. He put his head in his hands and looked wearily at the screen. Anne continued typing.
you were the next person i wanted as a boyfriend.
ever since you helped me get away from those drunks,
i knew you’d take good care of me.
i really hope that helps, nathan.
Second best, he grimaced. Well, if second best is all you can be, it’s all you can be. He badly wanted to get away from her, but he couldn’t leave her hanging.
well
thanks
i guess
His gut twisted.
but that just kinda makes it worse, you know
i’m grateful and all
but well…
yeah.
oh, nathan,
i'm sorry i had to tell you like this…
Frustration. A brief flash of anger. How the hell else were you planning to tell me? No, wipe it away. Life is painful enough as it is. He tried to reassure.
it's ok
i know you’re trying to help
and i appreciate it
really
thank you for understanding.
there aren’t that many people who would take this the right way
heh
yeah i'm a freak like that
truth is it hurts
but blaming someone doesn’t make the pain go away
you just end up spreading more pain, you know?
that’s another reason i liked you so much
even though liam and i…
we have something that you and i
well, you and i just don’t have
Oh God. Sadness began welling up, the same horrible, wrenching feeling he felt the last time he spoke to her in the dining hall. Why is she doing this to me? He forced himself to look at the next line of text. Read it, dammit! She’s still your friend!
we’re still best friends,
i want you to know that
sometimes…
Pause. More fumbling text.
sometimes i feel you understand me better than him
Tears, he could feel tears rolling down his cheeks. Why did she choose him over me? He reached for the keyboard.
thanks
He didn’t want to think anymore. He just wanted to get out of there, away from Anne and the pain and confusion she had brought down on him, as fast and as far as his legs would take him. He typed in a frenzy.
listen
i gotta go
oh…
i want you to know i'm not mad at you, ok?
right now i just need to clear my head
ok…
i'll be all right in a bit.
i hope you guys are good
bye
Anne started typing, but he didn’t wait for her reply and shut the computer down. He went into his bedroom, locked the door, and wept.
16 comments:
never had i read anything written by a guy that has alot of emotions in this....whoaaaaaaa
-hug-
Cheers, lady. You aren't doing too bad yourself.
I think part of what I'm doing here is expressing a part of myself that I don't normally show, 'the other side of the coin', so to speak. That would lead on into a discussion into what exactly 'self' means, but I'd best leave that for another blog post.
In the mean time, happy blogging.
teet...teet...teet...teeeeeeeeeeee...............
silent boom*
lol.. nice piece of male emotional extraction there yo!
juz to add.. well.. from my understanding of girl behavior(not trying to prove dat i understand woman very much), girls always have difficulties to conclude their thoughts STRAIGHT like men.. especially teenagers on sensitive topics like "love".. they seldom are able to "logicalize" their thoughts n present it to somebody else. Especially to those who are "related" to the topic. The deeper connected the harder to speak to. They tend to "fear how the receiver thinks" n is even more scared of "loosing a precious friendship". so at times like this they would be desperate to noe how the reciever reacts before proceeding to deeper, more emotionalized talk. N most of the time they'll only proceed to that stage when they get "enough green signals". I think this explains y woman always react with, alot "sorry"(s), n "i dunno"(s).
Anyway, great story. Hope to see more soon! Take care man!
Agreed, most women (and even men) aren't as forward with the way they speak.
What was unique about Anne is that the person I've based her on is very direct and says straight out what she feels, so her part of the dialogue was actually easier to write - in contrast with Nathan's, because he has to struggle with what to say and how to say it.
adui!! why so lomantic!!??
OMG!! What have UK done to you man!!??
OOoo~~~ you've mature~~~
LoL, a lot has happened since we last met.
If I haven't told you already, "A Gulf Between Two" and "Illusion Broken" are based on real events, but of course I've embellished and changed things quite heavily.
"Love: Hope and Fear" is wholly fictional, I've simply carried the characters from the previous posts through. I'll add more stories, and characters, as it develops.
A person thinking logically provides a good contrast for the world. Man from Mars and women from Venus? Yeah... right... Men ARE from Earth, women ARE from Earth, DEAL with it. And I don't think we can typify the genders into 'direct' and 'indirect'. The world is never such a simple place. We men might know what we want from a shop before we go into a mall to buy stuff, but heck, that doesn't mean that we say what we think. I myself tried not to offend people when I first meet them or during the familiarisation process. Often, this has led to.... attribution of qualities I do not really possess.. I would rather say that it's about politeness. We guys could be forgiven for being rude, but it's not appropriate for the ladies to be...impolite.
By the way, who's Fred?
And yeah... It's always the 'We're still best friends, right?'.... Cliches... Man... ladies love to use that...
Wow, an epic triple comment from Choo for me to reply to! :D
Okay, first off I have to defend Zheng because what he's saying is based on experience, which I can corroborate with my own. But yes, I agree with you that guys beat around the bush just as much as women do, and that sometimes women are much more direct than some men. As for politeness, well I guess it depends where you're coming from.
Secondly Fred is simply a temporary stand-in for someone who might lend Nathan some computer games, and therefore is nobody particularly important. I may, however, expand his role if it would be good for Nathan to speak to someone other than a girl.
Finally, yes, the cliche is heavily overused, but only because it's at least partially true. Either a guy is a boyfriend, or a friend (or worse, someone never to speak to again).
Yeah, you guys have had more salt than I had rice in this field, so you gys know what you're talking about. And I have to bow to your superior experience cuz you can go so far basing only on extrapolations.
More often that not, it's the latter. Cuz there's just this gulf between the two and it's hard to talk to one another again back like they were friends. It's a bit akward. Just as what you've demoed in te series.
Mr Choo! long time no see n since when u've became Philip??
lol! "Men ARE from Earth, women ARE from Earth, DEAL with it".. I've heard that line before n dun worry, i dun think i'll have any trouble dealing with it, can alwals refer to my birth cert. LOL!
well.. wat im trying to say back there is that different genders have a different method in information processing and retrieving. Due to different structure of the brain and of course, Hormones.
(For Reference ,Here is a link to 2 of the best selling gender differencing book :
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Female_Brain
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brain_Sex)
In terms of brain structure,
Men are able to use different parts of the brain individually more effectively compared to woman where the brain functions both or all parts together, especially the Amygdala which is responsible for generating Emotional Impulses. This is why woman is generally better in sensing the slightest change in terms of emotions while men are better at doing rational decisions(logical) with lesser emotional distractions.
This is what i actually meant in "direct & indirect".
As for politeness, well.. it is a matter of moral code we start to possess since the day we started to "learn".
We value our ethics depending on the experience we've obtained since small and with that, we differentiated between "Good and Bad" or "Polite and Impolite".
no offense man but i would say that both genders learn the Philosophy of Ethics the same way but, expressing them in a different manner due to different biological conditions.
cheers mate
Choo, that's why I frequently ask girls about how exactly things work in their heads. Obviously you need to know something about a topic before you can write about it properly. Then again there is always some natural drift from the 'norm', which is what I tried to represent in Anne.
I think in general, men are quite indirect as well, just that they just shut up and don't say much which makes them seem quiet or antisocial, while girls actually try to communicate their ideas which therefore seem more complicated.
Since when I become Philip, Zheng? About a month ago. Well, I won't put too much trust in stuff published on wiki... but heck, who's to know who's right and what's true and not bollocks?
If you're talking epistemiology here Choo, you're outclassed both of us. Zheng's doing ethics, and I've written a 1500 word essay on the theory of life.
hahaha.. hsin.. philosophy and psycho physiology is actually one of my subjects that im studying on.. ethics is only a topic in philosophy la.. but thanks 4 the highlight le..
choo, the links are actually introductory to the books on gender physiology.. dun mind wiki.. its the book that matters..
hsin, u got a point right.. Men talk less is too, due to the brain structure because the speech area is INDIRECTLY connected with the thinking area.. this results men to speak less than woman as woman's speech area is DIRECTLY linked to cerebral cortex.. results talkativeness..
to me.. the complicated part is how the amygdala influence both genders.. emotions play a very important factor in terms of an individual's behavior. what im trying to find out recently is how different gender prioritize different needs..
for example: "Honor"'s Effect to men seems generally greater to woman; while "Family"'s Effect to woman seems more powerful to men..
in a war.. you can always see Men fight for honor but woman fight for family.
Why is that so?
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